5th Times A Charm

My sage friend Courtney reminded me the other night while I was crying into my beer that I had this blog. Cause that’s how friends do. They buy you beer and let you cry in it and remind you of stuff you like to do and that you might even be good at. Then also suggest other stuff that might occupy your time that would cause the kind of pain and fatigue that makes you forget you’re heartbroken and kicks insomnia’s ass. Yes, she wants me to do CrossFit. She has for like two years now. And I might. But I am not doing that Paleo shit cause I like cheese. Also friends give you really great words like, “you are worth it,” to carry with you as a mantra through hard times (thanks Lib).

So I have some extra time on my hands now needed to be filled with things like writing on a funny-named blog, excessive exercise, crying into the occasional beer and such. I’m 35 and I’m getting divorced. There it is. I weigh 145 lbs, while we’re at it — might as well just get all the gory details out there. Also in my defense I’ve got some winter weight hanging around still. Like the kind of winter weight that can only be gained through the stress and fear and worry of an impending major life decision. I know Courtney, CrossFit.

But here’s the deal. I’m 35. Which means that every cell in my body has died and replaced itself 5 times. Or so some scientist people say. Apparently every 7 years every cell in the body dies and is replaced by a new one. In essence making you a new person every 7 years. There are even educational programs based on this theory and suggest that you are not ready to learn certain concepts until the 7th year of life. So 35. I’m a whole new person.

I’m not sure about this. I haven’t checked it against three sources or anything. But I’m totally gonna take advantage of it as motivation. Also side note: I’m not entirely sure about the whole Mercury in retrograde phenomenon either. But I do know that the planet Mercury went into retrograde on June 7 and had the capacity to wreck EVERYTHING. It goes back “direct” tomorrow July 1. I’m here to tell you that this round of Mercury in retrograde did a really really good job of causing whatever havoc it is supposed to be capable of. Like so much stuff in the crapper I lose track. But back to the point: I’m a new person.

And I think this me is gonna kick all the other me’s asses. So here’s what I’m gonna do:

I’m gonna write. Mostly because that is how I process. Things happen in gobbledygook in my head and often spill out of my mouth the same way. A few people in my life have been able to decipher it and even only through writing — or running — do I have much luck figuring out what the hell I mean. You can read or not. It’s for me. Something public gives me more accountability though (and apparently Courtney something to read).

I’m gonna go see movies in the Director Suite at the Warren. I’ve never done that.

I’m gonna get a six pack. And not like of Modelo. I know … CrossFit.

I’m gonna wear a bikini dammit.

I’m gonna scuba dive, climb mountains, sail oceans and kayak between islands.

I’m going to clean out my garage.

I’m gonna buy a tiki bar on a beach and retire my shoes.

I’m going to learn Spanish.

I’m gonna do a triathlon, an Iron Man, a Toughest Mudder.

I’m gonna mountain bike.

I’m going to become a grill master.

I’m going to go to concerts and stand at the front and sing really loud.

I’m going to lay on a blanket in the grass and watch the stars.

I’m going to backpack in Europe.

I’m going to sleep in a tree house in Costa Rica.

I’m going to go to Vietnam and Thailand.

Oh Oh OH I am so going to Cuba.

I’m going to be a former dog owner (anyone want a dog?).

I’m gonna have dance parties in my living room with my little girls.

I’m gonna have Godfather marathons with linguine and clam sauce.

I’m going to floss.

I’m gonna eat fresh oysters and watch green chilies get roasted and pull crabs right out of the Pacific ocean.

I’m going to swim in lakes and splash in rivers.

I’m gonna finish Gossip Girl.

I’m gonna wake board like a boss.

I’m going to watch the sun and the moon rise and set.

I’m gonna visit New York in the fall … and at Christmastime.

I’m going to love.

I’m going to do amazing and crazy things I can’t even imagine right now.

I might even do CrossFit.

Although tomorrow someone will probably have to remind me that it’s a good idea to get out of bed. One day at a time, right?


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