One of the funniest parts about the whole needing someone to go to breastfeeding class in case my sister is too overwhelmed to remember anything the day of delivery (besides that) was my Mom.
Apparently Erin did not know that she was a formula baby. We all were. My Mom cut her baby feeding teeth on a very sick baby who had to be fed super-duper nutrient enriched formula from a bottle so that his exact intake could be measured. By the time Erin
came along Mom had two kids aged 3 and 5 born 18 months apart the oldest with Down Syndrome. Somewhere in there I guess Erin imagined that Mom sat quietly and nursed her. In her head there was probably a dim room with a breeze blowing through a window billowing silk curtains as my Mom sat in a rocker wearing a gown of soft white fabric with a faint floral pattern holding Erin all swaddled in a hand knitted blanket. I think this is how youngest children assume their life always was and always should be. God bless’em. I think it is a survival thing their brains do so that they aren’t traumatized by how chaotic it really was until everyone left the house and their life did more closely resemble that fantasy.
Erin’s lucky she got fed at all.
Erin inviting Mom to take part in her breastfeeding class blew the lid right off her fantasy. I’m here to tell you there are a lot more fantasies that are about to get real unfantastical through pregnancy, delivery and parenthood.
Mom says to Erin — only actually it was an e-mail — “I’m honored that you would ask me and confused at the same time — as I have never breastfed a baby!!!!”
Four exclamations means she was laughing pretty hard at her desk when she read Erin’s e-mail.
Then shock and horror from Erin:
YOU DIDN’T BREASTFEED!!!! OH MY GOODNESS, I’VE BEEN LIVING A LIE!!!!
Eight exclamations points and then a smiley face means that she said this really sarcastic and then smiled.
Erin’s bottle was probably held to her mouth by Mom’s chin as she tried to keep Josh and I from killing ourselves or each other.